Fall is here, babes. The leaves are changing, the PSLs are flowing, and cuffing season is creeping up like that one ex who still views your stories but never texts back. But let’s make one thing clear: this is your season of standards. No more entertaining walking red flags just because it’s getting cold and you want someone to share a blanket with.
Here’s your official Autumn Ick List—aka the bad habits, annoying dating tropes, and straight-up “no thank yous” you’re leaving behind this season. And yes, we paired each with a Roster scent to match your upgrade.
The Guy Who ‘Forgets’ His Wallet (Again)
The Ick: You’re not auditioning to be his personal Venmo account. If he can’t cover an oat milk latte, what’s he bringing to the table besides ick energy?
The Upgrade: The Perfect Gentleman. Roses, honey, magnolia—basically the scent equivalent of doors opened, bills paid, and sweet kisses after dinner.
The Chronic Ghoster Who Pops Back Up Every Cuffing Season
The Ick: Leaves aren’t the only thing dropping this season—so is his “hey stranger” text. Don’t take the bait.
The Upgrade: The Narcissist. Bold bourbon, pepper, and oak. Because if anyone deserves the spotlight in this story, it’s you.
The Human Snooze Button
The Ick: He’s nice, sure… but yawn. Every date feels like you’re stuck in small-talk purgatory.
The Upgrade: The Gaslighter. Punchy, playful, never boring. A literal pick-me-up in a bottle.
The “Not Ready for a Relationship” Guy (But Still Acts Like Your BF)
The Ick: He’ll go pumpkin picking with you, introduce you to his roommate, but still hits you with “I’m not looking for anything serious.” Please.
The Upgrade: The Dream Husband. Vanilla + tonka bean = warm, steady, reliable. Unlike him.
The Situationship Sweet-Talker
The Ick: He’ll walk your dog, text you good morning, and make you playlists—but the second you ask “what are we?” he goes MIA.
The Upgrade: The Boy Next Door. Cozy, reliable, and actually better than the real thing—because this one commits.
The “I Don’t Believe in Labels” Guy
The Ick: Loves to act like your boyfriend, but twitches if you use the word relationship. Sir, you’re not inventing a new philosophy—you’re just avoiding commitment.
The Upgrade: The Rebel. Leather, cedarwood, tobacco—the bold, unapologetic vibe you deserve.
This fall, your standards are non-negotiable. Cozy season doesn’t mean settle season. So sip your latte, pull on your oversized sweater, and spray on a scent that actually sticks around
The Autumn Ick List: What You’re Not Settling for This Season
Fall is here, babes. The leaves are changing, the PSLs are flowing, and cuffing season is creeping up like that one ex who still views your stories but never texts back. But let’s make one thing clear: this is your season of standards. No more entertaining walking red flags just because it’s getting cold and you want someone to share a blanket with.
Here’s your official Autumn Ick List—aka the bad habits, annoying dating tropes, and straight-up “no thank yous” you’re leaving behind this season. And yes, we paired each with a Roster scent to match your upgrade.
The Guy Who ‘Forgets’ His Wallet (Again)
The Ick: You’re not auditioning to be his personal Venmo account. If he can’t cover an oat milk latte, what’s he bringing to the table besides ick energy?
The Upgrade: The Perfect Gentleman. Roses, honey, magnolia—basically the scent equivalent of doors opened, bills paid, and sweet kisses after dinner.
The Chronic Ghoster Who Pops Back Up Every Cuffing Season
The Ick: Leaves aren’t the only thing dropping this season—so is his “hey stranger” text. Don’t take the bait.
The Upgrade: The Narcissist. Bold bourbon, pepper, and oak. Because if anyone deserves the spotlight in this story, it’s you.
The Human Snooze Button
The Ick: He’s nice, sure… but yawn. Every date feels like you’re stuck in small-talk purgatory.
The Upgrade: The Gaslighter. Punchy, playful, never boring. A literal pick-me-up in a bottle.
The “Not Ready for a Relationship” Guy (But Still Acts Like Your BF)
The Ick: He’ll go pumpkin picking with you, introduce you to his roommate, but still hits you with “I’m not looking for anything serious.” Please.
The Upgrade: The Dream Husband. Vanilla + tonka bean = warm, steady, reliable. Unlike him.
The Situationship Sweet-Talker
The Ick: He’ll walk your dog, text you good morning, and make you playlists—but the second you ask “what are we?” he goes MIA.
The Upgrade: The Boy Next Door. Cozy, reliable, and actually better than the real thing—because this one commits.
The “I Don’t Believe in Labels” Guy
The Ick: Loves to act like your boyfriend, but twitches if you use the word relationship. Sir, you’re not inventing a new philosophy—you’re just avoiding commitment.
The Upgrade: The Rebel. Leather, cedarwood, tobacco—the bold, unapologetic vibe you deserve.
This fall, your standards are non-negotiable. Cozy season doesn’t mean settle season. So sip your latte, pull on your oversized sweater, and spray on a scent that actually sticks around